I sometimes think about Paris. It's not a surprise since I have dish towels with maps of Paris on them. I long for Paris in the most cliche way, and yet when I think about being there I feel a huge sadness. Maybe I have felt most sad in Paris than anywhere else. I think it's the weather.
Tonight I went OUT. A good friend of a good friend was playing in a band at the Rickshaw Stop. I like this venue! It scaled really well, and felt clean and hip at the same time. Gorgeous women danced to gypsy jazz/tango cabaret and new orleans jazz in little outfits. It was all so glamous and inspiring I forgot to feel lonely for a while. I left before my friend's band started.
I'm in a bit of a funk. Everything is going incredibly well, and yet I still feel inadequate at the slightest setback. Maybe I'm not getting enough water.
Gabe says that I suggested that he make a list of qualities he wants in a partner. Kristin keeps suggesting this idea to me, but it seems too clinical. But what I apparently suggested to Gabe is to make this list, then narrow it down to the top 5, and then become for oneself those top 5 characteristics. I try so hard to do this that I exhaust myself. Hmm... maybe I'm just tired.
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2 comments:
The list is not a laundry list of characteristics. Think of it more as affirmations and dreams. A list of positive things a partner could bring into your life. And don't limit yourself. I created my list of 90 things, and then Alexei appeared out of nowhere. I omitted to put on my list, however, that he lived closeby, or even in this country.
And p.s., I sleep with a "Plan de Paris par Arrondissement" on my bedside table. La ville de la Lumière est toujours près de moi.
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