NEWSFLASH: You CAN die from the flu.

I'm not asking for pity. I'm just saying that over the past few days I've wondered. My mother always told me that people don't die from the flu. This week, I doubted her. A quick internet search today proves my suspicions to be true. I hope you're feeling well tho.

Red

When it gets cold, you have a choice. You can dork-out in athletic gear or vogue-out on your own.

Vive Vogue, Red.

A Case for Drinking Locally

Languedoc wines to be shipped under sail to save carbon

My ex-boyfriend's ex-sister-in-law (that is, his brother's ex-wife) recently sent me a reverse getting-to-know you email. That is, you fill it out for your friends to find out how well you know each other. She knows me way better than I thought, and this was indicated with remarks on my laugh and my love for red wine... among other things. I was impressed.

I also recently clipped an article on reducing your carbon footprint with your drinking habits. I've been trying to buy organic wine (I like the Blue Hills Cabernet from TJ's best for the price), but when faced with a choice between organic and local, I'm at a loss.

Here in San Francisco, we are so blessed with beverage choices, it's almost embarrassing. World-class wine and beer is made a stone's throw from my house. This article I read explained that the carbon impact of organic vs. not organic is negligible compared with the carbon impact of transporting our beverages from overseas. In addition, glass is heavy -- a huge portion of the carbon footprint of your drinking habit is from it's container. So, when faced with a choice of beverage, I suggest the following order of priorities:
1) non-glass container, such as beer on tap or house wine from a barrel
2) locally-produced
3) organic

So Punk Rock

Brian, Sheila, and I went to see Steve's band, Onion-Flavored Rings, last night at Thrillhouse Records. It's a smoky basement venue with broken-concrete floor and greasy-haired kids in pegged jeans and sneakers; OFR was great and the experience profoundly authentic. Brian and I shared a couple 40s to set the mood. They collected donations at the door into a cereal box and the stage decorations were last year's xmas tree lights. I came away smiling uncontrollably, soul cleansed, and went to bed early to happy punk rock dreams. I think that makes me a freak.

Musician Fashion

Musicians Sonja Cotton and Shake your Peace transported their equipment home yesterday afternoon looking bright and stunning.

Red Basket

Her basket was wrapped with red tinsel matching her beret. Worn with a black fur coat and boots, the effect impressed.

Announcing Vélo Vogue

KT and I were profoundly inspired by the Copenhagen Cycle Chic blog. We vowed to get more stylish bikes. I would start biking in heals and short skirts again like I did to my office job in the financial district in the 1990s, but I no longer wear heals, short skirts, or... work.... And then KT thought of an even better idea: start our own bike-fashion blog based in San Francisco, Vélo Vogue.

Civilized Benefits and Relationship Durations

A Japanese firm provides paid time off for breakups and sale shopping. Now, that's a place with it's priorities straight! 20-somethings get one day off for heartbreak each year. 30-somethings get two. I read 2 implications into these policies: 1) older women feel more deeply and/or are less emotionally resilient; and 2) most relationships turn over once a year.

Japanese firm offers "heartache leave" for staff, Mon Jan 28, 2008

I have noticed relationship duration patterns:
3 months -- when you're still dating a representative. Even in relationships that last longer (< 1 year), things come up in the first 3 months that often end up being the deal breakers. I'm talking about personality incompatibilities or realizing you don't like the other person that much. I have a handful of data points.
under 1 year -- These relationships end more because they just aren't with the right people than because of some specific problem. Personalities are usually pretty compatible but you don't love each other enough and/or you realize the life you would have together isn't one that will make you happy. I have a handful of data points.
2 years -- These are relationships with increasingly smaller versions of the same problems as <1 year relationships.
...Relationships that end beyond that (time-wise), end as a result of growing apart/developing destructive patterns together or otherwise not being happy in the life you make together. Sometimes relationships go to the next time stage because breaking up seems like more trouble than it's worth. It's all pretty fluid actually.

Brian says that modern life breaks up into 3-5 year cycles, and you just can't expect anything to last longer than 5 years. I think it just depends on what you both want to do with your lives and how deeply you love each other.

Jen Rides a Bike.

A source says, "Jennifer (Aniston) said she wanted to start bike riding because it's such good exercise. So Courteney (Cox) sent her the new, ultra-chic Chanel bicycle."
The designer cycle has eight speeds and features a quilted leather seat and saddlebag emblazoned with the famous Chanel logo.

Dapper Couple

This dapper couple was on the BART train late Saturday night.

crazy pattern

I chased this woman down along the Embarcadero on Saturday afternoon. Once I caught up with her, we had to chase down her boyfriend who was about a block ahead. I loved the crazy pattern on her dress and the matching, totally gorgeous black and blue "milano" frame and wheels. drool!

She said she'd borrowed the bike.

Quote

On Hillary not calling her support of the Iraq war a "mistake":
"We seem to be hung up semantically--what is a mistake?--something that one should have done differently at the time, or something that one regrets having done in light of what has happened since?"
-Stephen Whitney

...But with much broader applications re: being human on earth....

February Art at the Gallery

I have a new show up at the gallery. So far, it is very well-received! I particularly love this month's postcard.

February the back room houses the erotic art show, and the party is meant to be particularly steamy (but inexplicably did not have strippers this year). I dressed up.
photo by Geoff Horne at the end of the night

Grateful

Sunday night, my mother, 2 longtime friends (the Shafarman's), and I went to a benefit poetry reading on gratefulness at the Herbst Theater. It also included musical performances including a tambora (Indian drone instrument) and singing, and spiritual conversations with the movement's leaders. I took notes in the dark on a scrap of paper from my mother's notebook.

Brother David and Roshi Jones reminded us that happiness comes from gratefulness. It is gratefulness without reference -- that is, you aren't keeping score. Every moment is an opportunity to enjoy, even if it is a lesson. Maintaining and element of surprise in life also contributes towards happiness. As I type this, I remind myself of this poem I particularly loved, "Misgivings" by William Matthews, about keeping a freshness in relationship. If poetry is not surprising, they said, it isn't good poetry.

My mother and the others were particularly excited to hear Jane Hirshfield read her poetry, and I found her poetry particularly surprising. She talked about being cleansed by poetry. Her poems called to its listeners to be grateful and open to all of the gifts life brings us. The Shafarman's were also very excited about Coleman Barks, who was completely adorable and did a little dance when he read some of his translations.

I don't know much about religion bc I mostly enjoy people one at a time in the freshness of their own ideas. But I have enjoyed many wonderfully thoughtful conversations with people who get a lot from organized religion. The distinction between religion and spirituality makes me a little uncomfortable for my own purposes. But I was inspired by the event to approach life with more gratefulness... to see all things as opportunities, as gifts.

Barack or Hillary... or McCain....

I've been enjoying the tremendous e-traffic on whether to vote for Barack or Hillary... or McCain. I feel very lucky that I don't get to decide; I'm registered Green. As my father likes to say, "I'm not interested in what I believe." It's a great privilege for a person who usually has trouble deciding what to eat for breakfast (or whether to skip the meal all together).

My friends and family each believe strongly that the issue is:
the war
healthcare
experience
background (NPO -- you know who I mean!)
charisma/personality/electability (different or the same?)
the economy
reproductive freedom

For each of these, there's often a counter-argument. For example, the people who say that Barack could bring new blood to the White House hear back that that was the argument that brought us our current Bush. When a person says: "The war is the issue" or "It's the economy, stupid" (no one actually calls anyone stupid, it just sounds good), I am overwhelmed with the arbitrariness of these values. It's Democracy; so, YOU get to decide what's most important to YOU (and you only).

Most of us found our last 2 presidential elections profoundly depressing. I, for one, vowed to discuss these matters with people who value different things than I. And yet, so far anyway, I don't even need to have my own opinion bc I don't get to vote in the real primaries. (Green Party primaries don't count in America bc their candidates won't become president.) Talk about undermining the progressive movement (maybe).

My liberal media (KQED radio) yesterday took calls from several conservative Republicans who said that if McCain is the candidate, they'll vote for Hillary... and such like things. I wonder if Hillary really is more fiscally conservative. I wonder what motivates people to label themselves and how we can cut through that to find out what people MEAN when they call themselves conservative Republicans. I assume it means they wish the government would stop collecting taxes and go away, but I'm not sure.

So: VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE
...And to those of you who are allowed to cast an opinion on the candidates, I wish you all the clarity and wisdom in the world.

The Story of Stuff

Everyone has seen this already, I think. But I thought I'd do my small part to spread the word. 20 minutes is rather long for my MTV generation attention span (unless I'm watching Angel, in which case 17 hours is not enough, but that's another story). So, I suggest watching in multiple sittings. The Consumption section was the most interesting to me (for whatever reason).

The Story of Stuff

Dosa

...used to be great. Our "Sex and the City" club went there tonight. The waitress was too pushy. The bus boy too. Even the food was too spicy. Everyone's food was too spicy. I even like spicy food. We wondered if it was a mechanism to get us to order more food and drinks to cool off our tongues. I don't need to go again.

Tuning

No one is going to be quite as excited about this as I am now, but I think I just tuned my own guitar, all alone, here in my drafty little apartment, for the first time. Steve gave me this awesome little Guitar Basics 'zine, no-big-deal enough to get me to actually play with the instrument. This while I have had 4 books from the library on the same subject for the past 2 months that I haven't cracked.

I slept for like a million years last night, finally home again in my own little bed. I like going away. Even more, I like coming home.

I've been thinking a lot about the things I want to get done as the master of my own schedule. Learn to play guitar, for example, bc not enough people know how to do that. This isn't the right season to improve my swimming, altho I did buy a wetsuit the other day. The third goal of my big 3 life goals is a foreign language. I was thinking, as one small step for this mankind, I will try to watch at least half my entertainment in French.

The photo-a-day project continues to be time consuming, but it helps me with another of my daily goals which is to leave the house. Move around. Do something. Today my soymilk turned out to be frozen, and I was craving chocolate; so, I went over to Ritual and got a mocha and a piece of vegan chocolate cake and read the SF Weekly. Then, I walked up to the ATM in the Castro. Life sure is challenging.

One of my favorite paradoxes of modern urban life is that of waiting for the bus. You wait for the bus. I might come in one minute or in one hour. So, you have a choice: do you continue to wait for the bus, or do you begin to walk? If the bus comes, it is faster to ride the bus. If the bus doesn't come for a very long time or at all, it is faster to walk. The longer you wait for the bus without walking, the more committed you are to the bus to make your travel time as short as possible. That is, the more invested you are in the bus coming rather than you using your other transportation option, walking. Many things are like waiting for the bus.

Amazingly, some mathematicians at Harvard finally derived a formula to determine how long you should wait for the bus. They found that you should nearly always continue to wait. Exceptions include when you will have to wait more than an hour (how do you know?) to travel a relatively short distance. If you are going to walk, it is best to make that selection BEFORE you begin to wait for the bus. To me, these findings only deepen the paradox.

At the risk (too late!) of this post having no linearity at all, my mother send me this beautiful poem today: The Lily by Mary Oliver. In it "...the whole earth has turned around/ and the silver moon/ becomes the golden sun –/ as the lily absolutely knew it would", I think my mother is commenting on how I am always telling her (and rightfully) "I told you so."
Yes, I know it's annoying, but she so often forces me to be right in advance.

But more powerful to me is the closing and opening of the Lily, like in the e.e. cummings poem somewhere i have never traveled, we all open and close. We meet and love people who open and close us. It's rare.

Last night, Tyler and I were having one of our marathon phone conversations after he had had a successful date (I am a committee member). I don't know how it came up, but I asked him why he liked one of his other friends so much. I'm not jealous of the other committee members, I just thought it was an interesting thing to pick apart. He explained for a while until it became clear to me that all he was really saying was that he likes him. Or, rather, that he just loves him.

I don't know how these things happen or are found, the connections that open and close us. Tyler is an easy example bc the first thing he asked me was what I would do if I had to travel back in time. My heart raced. (He would worry about sanitation and maybe invent electricity. I would worry about having transferable skills and probably end up a prostitute.) I felt a similar zing the first time I met KT, but I don't remember the words that made that happen. (Of course, I am flattering my known regular readers, but they are also easy and safe examples.)

Back to Mary Oliver and her vegetables and saints, the poem also resonated with me bc of a conversation we had at the gallery meeting last night. Every month, we must answer a question to help "break the ice" with the new people. It's usually "what's your favorite food?" Since February is the erotic show, it was "what's your favorite vegetable for erotic purposes" or something like that. People said zucchinis, oysters, and strawberries. We're artists; we don't like to be restricted by the medium. I said "I like to bite... people... preferably not ones who are vegetables."

On Categories and Categorizing

From my friend Marty's newsletter... No, I don't read the New Yorker unless referred directly to an article. It's like a boat -- better to have friends with one. If you get your own, you have to read the whole thing.

None of the Above, What I.Q. doesn’t tell you about race. by Malcolm Gladwell

THE NEW YORKER The psychologist Michael Cole and some colleagues once gave members of the Kpelle tribe, in Liberia, a version of the WISC similarities test: they took a basket of food, tools, containers, and clothing and asked the tribesmen to sort them into appropriate categories. To the frustration of the researchers, the Kpelle chose functional pairings. They put a potato and a knife together because a knife is used to cut a potato. “A wise man could only do such-and-such,” they explained. Finally, the researchers asked, “How would a fool do it?” The tribesmen immediately re-sorted the items into the “right” categories. It can be argued that taxonomical categories are a developmental improvement—that is, that the Kpelle would be more likely to advance, technologically and scientifically, if they started to see the world that way. But to label them less intelligent than Westerners, on the basis of their performance on that test, is merely to state that they have different cognitive preferences and habits. And if I.Q. varies with habits of mind, which can be adopted or discarded in a generation, what, exactly, is all the fuss about?

Why Bicyclists Hate Stop Signs

Access #18, Spring 2001, by Joel Fajans and Melanie Curry

This is Awesome!