Be smarter at work, slack off - Mar. 17, 2006
I can't tell you how many times I've thought of mistakes I might have made in the middle of the night, but I don't think that's what this article is about.... I have noticed that I feel more creative in every aspect of my life when I stopped trying to work so hard.
Have I blogged this already? When I first started working at RIDES, the first time, I was so intense about it. I was determined to make it my big break (which it turned out to be). After a few weeks of that intensity, I had completely worn myself ragged. I noticed, for the first time, in the mail room, someone (probably HR) had posted a little sign that said "The four fold path: show up, pay attention, tell the truth, let go." It gave me a huge sigh of relief. Is that really all I have to do? I finally felt like I could handle what my job asked of me. The rest was imagined. You can't try to be anything at all....
I don't know why, but I was grew up believing that what it took to succeed... at anything... was something I couldn't fathom. I didn't deserve success so much as... not deserve it. In the working world I learned, with my dear friend Carolyn Helmke, that "everyone is incompetent except you and me." But what that really means is that everyone should do what they are. Do be do be do be. Anything else not only leads to necessary failure, but means you have to try so hard that you're bound to fail. It has to feel right to be right.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Smart or pretty, pretty or smart...?
Harvard author and novel she remember too well: extracts - World - Times Online
More on this later, as I am, as always, running late somewhere. Now that I am an artist/bike jock, I have very little time for writing, reading, and examining my navel (or the world). Alas... I like that Lilia.
More on this later, as I am, as always, running late somewhere. Now that I am an artist/bike jock, I have very little time for writing, reading, and examining my navel (or the world). Alas... I like that Lilia.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Scenic, sure, but our city needs tending
Scenic, sure, but our city needs tending
"'This should be fun. We should all be having a wonderful time re-creating our public realm.'"
Go Marshall! I couldn't have said it any better if I'd tried.
"'This should be fun. We should all be having a wonderful time re-creating our public realm.'"
Go Marshall! I couldn't have said it any better if I'd tried.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Goethe quote from my mother
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance which no man could have ever dreamed would have come his way - Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now! - Goethe
Friday, April 07, 2006
Quote
Public transport is the ideal place to have an epiphany. Riding the
bus this morning, I realised that groups of people travelling
together reminds us that we all share the streets, and the city. The
commute also becomes a destination itself, filled with curious people
of all shapes, moods, and walks of life. Glancing out the window and
looking at the solo car drivers sitting in traffic, I said to myself,
"look, there go the robots of the road, how sad."
Source: Carfree Bulletin #31 by Steven Logan.
bus this morning, I realised that groups of people travelling
together reminds us that we all share the streets, and the city. The
commute also becomes a destination itself, filled with curious people
of all shapes, moods, and walks of life. Glancing out the window and
looking at the solo car drivers sitting in traffic, I said to myself,
"look, there go the robots of the road, how sad."
Source: Carfree Bulletin #31 by Steven Logan.
Monday, April 03, 2006
bike-camping in the rain and the most important things in life
I can't get over the misty, rainy sight to the trees, hills, bay and gray and white and dark and green in the morning. It almost makes me forget the part about biking home Sunday for like 6 hours in the pouring rain. I don't know why we were so slow. It was only 45ish miles.
The weather report didn't lie to us (as it has so often lately). These days, more often than not, it says rain and then doesn't. This simply infuriates me when I take an hour to get across town on the bus when I could be _flying_ on my bike (30 minutes). I guess that's what we figured when we launched the bike trip anyway. You can imagine our surprise when it actually did pour rain Sunday early morning on, without stopping.
Yeah, the ride there was great.... I was trying out my new clipless peddles (purchased the previous weekend at a swap meet in Dublin, which we also biked to). This meant that we had to stop several times to adjust this or that (seat or peddles or rack or whatever). Come to think of it, I always imagined myself as a very low-maintenance person... high-emotion, but low-maintenance.... It's hard for me to accept being cared for… tended to… anyway.
I don't want to make this a whole psycho-chyck self-help blog. So, I'll try to control myself. But in the process of doing this whole art thing I have going on, most of the people I spend time with are interested in their own (and their loved-ones') emotional health rather than politics or the meaning of life or whatever. I am easily steered.
Hmm... That leads me loosely to something that I used to talk about with Grayson all the time. Are we formed by the people around us, or, by choosing them, do we form ourselves? I try to be a positive, forgiving person (some of my friends call me "the public defender" bc I can defend almost anyone for doing almost anything when dirt is being dished), but I like some people A LOT more than others. I want to say that it's like matching colors, but I really don't know what that means. I like some people more than others, and they, in turn, make me who I am. I guess, hopefully, that person is someone I want to be.
On Tuesday and Thursdays, I make art all day long. We've formed this little lunch group with a few core members and some who sometimes show up. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my little lunch group. (Actually, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my life right now. It rocks. But that's another story that I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to parse out for you.) Anyway, we share all sorts of inappropriate things with each other (from sexual preferences to substances abuse issues to family dramas, you name it, we discuss it in detail). And I guess that's influenced the things I've been thinking about lately. Not sure how I feel about that, but anyway....
OK, back to the bike trip... We woke up early (likely -- though we did not look at a clock) but since it was raining, it seemed to make sense to stay in the tent until it stopped. Yeah, that was funny... since it didn't stop! The good part was that neither of us had slept well in the night (the air too cold, the bag too hot...) but in the morning we could actually get some rest. We packed up camp in the rain, washed at a cold-water facet sticking up from the ground, and hit the road... in the rain.
It was fine, mostly, until we got back to the Marin bike path, stopped for the toilets, and got cold. I think it started to rain harder too. I mean, Jared may have started hating it before then, but that's when I got upset. (Incidentally, we bumped into a friend of Jared's, also biking in the rain, on that Corte Madera hill -- strange!) I got a lot more upset when, back in SF and after it had gotten dark, when my brakes stopped working! You can imagine what a hit that was with me. Ugh. OK, worst part: Jared was fearlessly crossing Market Street to turn left onto Valencia, dark, bike loaded, and he slipped on the light rail tracks and went down hard. Yeah, he got roughed up a little, but the worst part for me was the car that zoomed up behind him... and... nearly killed him. Yeah, I'm not over it at all. (When I told my mother about it earlier this week: "He could have been killed," she said to me. "And you would have left society and lived in a little cottage by the ocean tending to houseplants for the rest of your life." …She's so cute.) But, since Jared WASN'T killed, I don't regret the trip. I think we're both up for a low-key weekend now, however.
Have I had too much to drink? I still have more to say.... To make a short story… as short as possible coming from me, I’ll go right to the punchline on this one. The most important things in life are:
1) Treating everyone with dignity and respect... and not hurting people's feelings if at all possible, and
2) Having adventures/good stories to tell/being interesting to yourself and others.
I think that's enough "wisdom" to leave you with today... but the gates have been unleashed... I keep thinking of more things I want to say....
The weather report didn't lie to us (as it has so often lately). These days, more often than not, it says rain and then doesn't. This simply infuriates me when I take an hour to get across town on the bus when I could be _flying_ on my bike (30 minutes). I guess that's what we figured when we launched the bike trip anyway. You can imagine our surprise when it actually did pour rain Sunday early morning on, without stopping.
Yeah, the ride there was great.... I was trying out my new clipless peddles (purchased the previous weekend at a swap meet in Dublin, which we also biked to). This meant that we had to stop several times to adjust this or that (seat or peddles or rack or whatever). Come to think of it, I always imagined myself as a very low-maintenance person... high-emotion, but low-maintenance.... It's hard for me to accept being cared for… tended to… anyway.
I don't want to make this a whole psycho-chyck self-help blog. So, I'll try to control myself. But in the process of doing this whole art thing I have going on, most of the people I spend time with are interested in their own (and their loved-ones') emotional health rather than politics or the meaning of life or whatever. I am easily steered.
Hmm... That leads me loosely to something that I used to talk about with Grayson all the time. Are we formed by the people around us, or, by choosing them, do we form ourselves? I try to be a positive, forgiving person (some of my friends call me "the public defender" bc I can defend almost anyone for doing almost anything when dirt is being dished), but I like some people A LOT more than others. I want to say that it's like matching colors, but I really don't know what that means. I like some people more than others, and they, in turn, make me who I am. I guess, hopefully, that person is someone I want to be.
On Tuesday and Thursdays, I make art all day long. We've formed this little lunch group with a few core members and some who sometimes show up. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my little lunch group. (Actually, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my life right now. It rocks. But that's another story that I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to parse out for you.) Anyway, we share all sorts of inappropriate things with each other (from sexual preferences to substances abuse issues to family dramas, you name it, we discuss it in detail). And I guess that's influenced the things I've been thinking about lately. Not sure how I feel about that, but anyway....
OK, back to the bike trip... We woke up early (likely -- though we did not look at a clock) but since it was raining, it seemed to make sense to stay in the tent until it stopped. Yeah, that was funny... since it didn't stop! The good part was that neither of us had slept well in the night (the air too cold, the bag too hot...) but in the morning we could actually get some rest. We packed up camp in the rain, washed at a cold-water facet sticking up from the ground, and hit the road... in the rain.
It was fine, mostly, until we got back to the Marin bike path, stopped for the toilets, and got cold. I think it started to rain harder too. I mean, Jared may have started hating it before then, but that's when I got upset. (Incidentally, we bumped into a friend of Jared's, also biking in the rain, on that Corte Madera hill -- strange!) I got a lot more upset when, back in SF and after it had gotten dark, when my brakes stopped working! You can imagine what a hit that was with me. Ugh. OK, worst part: Jared was fearlessly crossing Market Street to turn left onto Valencia, dark, bike loaded, and he slipped on the light rail tracks and went down hard. Yeah, he got roughed up a little, but the worst part for me was the car that zoomed up behind him... and... nearly killed him. Yeah, I'm not over it at all. (When I told my mother about it earlier this week: "He could have been killed," she said to me. "And you would have left society and lived in a little cottage by the ocean tending to houseplants for the rest of your life." …She's so cute.) But, since Jared WASN'T killed, I don't regret the trip. I think we're both up for a low-key weekend now, however.
Have I had too much to drink? I still have more to say.... To make a short story… as short as possible coming from me, I’ll go right to the punchline on this one. The most important things in life are:
1) Treating everyone with dignity and respect... and not hurting people's feelings if at all possible, and
2) Having adventures/good stories to tell/being interesting to yourself and others.
I think that's enough "wisdom" to leave you with today... but the gates have been unleashed... I keep thinking of more things I want to say....
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