Mood Collapse

My mood collapsed today. I was at the Flower and Garden Show helping my friend Susan who had a stand there. I took a stroll around the show, and somehow in the middle, I began to loath myself: no one likes me; I'm impossible to get along with; my skills are bad; that kind of thing. I went back to Susan's booth and shared this event with her and the woman in the next booth.

Susan understood immediately. "I hate when that happens." The woman in the next booth seemed very concerned. I guess this never happens to her.

Someone recently sent me a spam email that had a supposedly "real" phone tree for a mental health clinic. "If you are dyslexic, hit 9696969696969696. If you are paranoid, we know you're calling so just wait on the line." etc. The last one, which I can sometimes relate to, was "If you have low self-esteem, our operators are too busy to talk to you." This afternoon was one of those times!

I don't know why I get "Body + Soul" magazine. This months issue had an article on heartbreak by Susan Piver (pg. 90). She found that friends and faith can heal a broken heart, and I agree with her. She cited "a good Buddhist teaching": "When you throw a stick for a dog, he runs after it. But throw a stick for a lion, and he turns around to see who threw it. Now when a strong emotion comes up, I try to act like a lion...."

So, I tried to explain to Susan and her friend that I was suddenly depressed because I ate too much sugar, but they just seemed alarmed. They suggested that maybe I feel sad because I feel sad. I don't think this is ever the case. There's always a reason. I came home and ate a good meal. I feel better now.