Hello, EDD.

My baby is due today (my "estimated date of delivery" or EDD). But she's not indicating her actual date of debut.

She does continue to be very active and elegant in her own dancerly way. (I'm supposed to "count kicks", but she never kicks. It's more like she mimes. Fortunately, any motion counts as what they call a "kick".) In the meantime, I finally stopped working due to inability to sleep. (I would have kept going because work is fun, but alas!)

Why am I telling you this? Because it explains why I've been so quiet lately. Being enormously pregnant is like having a second full time job. That said, I have no plans to become a different person. I still don't own a car, and I still believe that sustainable transportation will save the world. I'm also still taking pictures and thinking artsy thoughts as exhibited by the self-portrait above. I still love music. And I will continue to blog.

[Some words about the photo: I probably wouldn't wear a dress like this even without the additional weight and human life. But it arrived with my maternity hand-me-downs, and it seemed a shame to let it go to waste completely. So, I included it in my photo shoot the other weekend.]

overheard on the Portland MAX

Dad said: you like the train don't you?
Little boy: yeah
Dad: why do like the train so much?
Lb, a bit thoughtful but enthusiastic: because it goes there
He made a shoosh noise and motion as he said it.

Contra-flow

Here, my sister has stopped to admire one of the City's contra-flow bike lanes. See how it says "Do Not Enter. Except Bicycles." It's a quick and lovely way into Golden Gate Park.

Slice of Mission Life

Beattle Lights

Months ago, Chloe and I went to a special event at the SF MoMA. So did a lot of other people, including a surprisingly large group (I recall at least 4) who arrived in this vibrantly lit VW Beattle. Of course, I had to record it.

Happy cyclist....

Sometimes people just pose for me. I like this photo because she's sort of framing the massive white GMC with which she's sharing the road. It's like "cars cars cars cars cars... oh, and a smiling cyclist." You choose!

Red Onion Lottery

I got some groceries last weekend -- everything fit in one pannier and one tote bungeed to the top of my rack. Half way home, a red onion rested in the bike lane on Harrison. Since nothing seemed to be wrong with it, and it was quite beautiful, I stopped to pick it up. Then, I noticed another one nearby. I picked that one up too. Thinking I had won the Red Onion Lottery and that was a bit strange, I glanced around.

Another cyclist was on the sidewalk nearby. He looked up at me and saw me holding the two red onions. "Oh, that's mine," he said. "My bag broke." And he motioned towards the sidewalk where a huge, broken bag of granola rested. What a bummer. He explained that not everything fit into the one bag he had left: his backpack, now bursting at the seams!

So, I gave him my extra tote. It was gifted to me when I volunteered at Sunday Streets. I keep it in my purse at all times in case of unplanned shopping because it folds up so small. He was very grateful and promised to return it (I gave him my address), but I didn't really expect him to.

Low and behold, the next day, resting in my entry hall, not just my tote, but also a little thank you note and... you guessed it! A red onion!

Baby Registry: All Other

Now that you've heard my stroller brain dump (for which I apologize), I think the rest is pretty simple. Again, I would love any hand-me-downs you think I might find useful.

I've registered on Amazon for some things that I'm not expecting as hand-me-downs. Just search for my real name. Also, feel free to find the items listed on Amazon used and just let me or Ilana or Laura know so we can take it off the list.

The Diaper Service I've selected is Earth Baby. If you would like, you can click on the green "Gift Certificate" box on right hand side. Again, all you need is my real name... and possibly my email address. (The account is under my Yahoo! email address.)

Finally, I need a glider and ottoman.

Thanks.

Baby registry: Strollers

Babies can have a significant environmental impact. In an effort to reduce the impact of mine, I'm hoping to provide for her with hand-me-downs and used items. Of course this makes it difficult to "register" since craigslist doesn't have a registry (hmm... business idea, someone?). Also, in most cases multiple types of an item will fit the bill as well as each other.

Strollers are tricky because not just any will do. I'm tall. When I push Laura's stroller, I have to walk like a duck to avoid kicking it and it wrenches my back. There are also a range of other considerations such as weight and size since baby can't bike with me for the first year. We are likely to be riding the bus a lot! While the stroller must be big in size to fit me, it must also be light and fold small for the bus. Like anything, these are natural trade-offs.

Finally, not all strollers accommodate infants which I understand need to be completely flat -- something to check for. Not all the strollers listed below accommodate infants -- not necessarily a deal breaker since I can carry her at first as well.

Having now test-pushed about 300 strollers, I have news. I don't kick the following strollers when I push them making them desirable choices:
* Bugabuoo
* Bob (aluminum instead of plastic wheels makes it much lighter)
* City Elite
* Aprica
* Graco Alano flipit
* Mountain Buggy urban stroller
* Combi Cosmo Ex
* Pliko P3 Peg Pergo
* Chico Capri

So, if you have one of the above to spare or if you find one used for a good price, I would love to have it. Thank you!

[Special thanks to Young for taking me all around to push these strollers in stores. You are a true friend!]

Commandments for dating

I like this list for dating: The Millionaire Matchmaker's 11 Commandments of Dating for Women

I would only make one change: If your first date is a blind date (of any variety) no drinking at all. It completely changes the dynamic.

I strongly agree about
* not texting or IMing,
* returning calls in a timely manner and
* honoring your commitments.

Solving Caltrain's financial problems

My job responsibilities include keeping up on the news. I was just reading this article on Caltrain's financial crisis, and the numbers at the end inspired me to pull out my calculator.

CALTRAIN NUMBERS
$2.3 million: deficit
35,000: daily riders

My calculation: $2,300,000/200 commute days per year (a conservative estimate)/35,000 daily passengers (or do they mean trips? I bet they mean trips.) = $0.33 (the amount they would have to raise fares per ticket (or possibly per passenger which means it's only half as much) to cover the deficit

BTW, demand for transportation is relatively inelastic. This means that people won't stop riding very quickly as the fare increases.

I don't know about you, but $0.33/day isn't a lot of money to me. Heck, raise the fares $0.50/day just to be on the safe side. Just accompany it with better service like more space for bikes and bullet trains on the weekend and even in the middle of the day.

Adventure to West Point Inn

After Meli's profile of me as a woman "who rides the distance", I was inspired to share this story with you.

Last fall, K and I planned to bike up to the top of Mt. Tam and spend the night at the West Point Inn. Here she is in Sausalito getting some air.

As we climbed the hill, the view got lovely.

We stopped to enjoy it!






While you see us smiling here, the trip was not a complete success. Once we reached the West Point Inn, right exactly at the end of check-in time, we learned that a lightning threat meant the mountain needed to be evacuated!

Sadly, there was no way of making it back in the light, and we weren't carrying any. So, we dawdled, snacking on our dinner and enjoying the view until the very last moment and then biked home in the dark.

The moral of the story? Maybe don't plan to stay at the West Point Inn in the fall and ride your bike to get there. Otherwise, we'll just have to try again another time in another season.

Grandma on a Bike

Fridays, I usually work from home. Today, I was listening to Forum on KQED radio about San Francisco's transportation systems. Several people asserted that bicycle infrastructure was only useful for people in their 20s and 30s. The MTA representative asserted that this is only because our existing bicycle infrastructure is inadequate which is a nice spin on the amo.

First of all, people in their 20s and 30s are a large portion of our City's population. Second of all, it isn't true that they're the only people biking on our streets. Towards that end, I'm posting the following photos of one of my favorite "grandmas on a bike".

What a classy lady! I love her cardigan and stripes. The sunglasses are perfect!

You may not be able to tell, but she's riding a beautiful Rivendell bike. You can tell that today's ride isn't a fluke -- she rides all the time. What good taste all around!

(She told me she got as far as the park before she realized she'd forgotten her helmet, and was now headed home to retrieve it.)

High-Speed Train that Never Stops

I love this. Be sure to read the article as the video is in Mandarin.

VOCal

My friends L&K have been participating in these VOCal events for a while now, and they love it. It certainly sounds amazing -- to invest in urban parks and get to live in one for a weekend while making it better!
K says that next one is Corona Heights Aug 21-22. You should go!

Samantha and Sabrina

Several Fridays ago, a few of us went to Friday night at the de Young. My friend was playing in the band, and it was the members' preview of the impressionist exhibition. Of course, the event's always fun no matter what! We were particularly taken with a very outgoing little girl dancing right in front of the stage. Then, we were lucky enough to walk out with her and her mom to realize that they had also traveled there by bike.

It sounded like the mother-daughter team did most of their recreational travel by bicycle. The daughter continued to be incredibly outgoing -- enthusiastically showing us her gloves.

Mom actually spent quite a bit of time bundling her baby girl up before they headed off into the darkness.

[Book review] Marry Him: The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough

Yes, I read the book. Cover to cover. It was a quick read. Over the first half, the author blamed women (herself) for being single. I found her tiresome. By the second half, she got into the meat of it: why, and what to do about it.

I agree that a lot of the good ones get snapped up. I also agree that men who really want to be married, get married(*), and so far that hasn’t been to either me or Lori Gottlieb, the book’s author. Finally, I agree that some woman are too picky(**), don’t give perfectly good guys a chance. I, however, am not one of those women.

When Lori presented her date “Sheldon2” and explained that she was reluctant to go out with him because in his personals profile picture he wore a pink bow tie… well, I knew she wasn’t speaking to me. Because 1) I think men wearing pink bow ties are adorable. And 2) I never rule men out by their photo unless they present themselves resting against a fancy sports car (or otherwise expressing a culture that I cannot relate to). The photo is an opportunity to learn about what the person values, how they see themselves, not to judge their taste in clothes or if they're cute enough for you.

She ends up dating the guy happily. He's widower and single parent. Unfortunately, she explains, he gets the opportunity to move to Chicago and be closer to family who could help him with his child. She believes their situations pulled them apart. I think that if he was excited about her he would have: 1) waited to move a short time to see where the relationship was going, 2) continued seeing her long distance to see where the relationship was going, or 3) asked her to move with him. She is, after all, a writer who can write anywhere. Sorry, Lori, didn’t buy it.

At another point in the book, she discusses a woman who would be happy with “an 8” (as opposed to a 10) but is afraid she might choose the wrong “8.”

All this leads me to my biggest concern about her “case”. Let’s say you decide to “settle for Mr. Good Enough”; who’s to say he’s going to want to “settle” for you. Anything worth having is worth fighting for, and I’m not sure I could muster the enthusiasm for someone who’s sort of OK. So, you make a concession and commit yourself to someone who seems like he’d be a good partner even if you’re not in love with him. By the time he leaves you, you’ve wasted a whole lot of time trying to make something work that wasn’t that great.

It’s terribly sad that Lori feels like she’s worth so little. That she closes herself off to people she doesn’t know yet. That her search for a husband has been so frustrating for her. Dating, getting to know new people, is incredibly fun. I’m still romantic enough to prefer being “alone” forever rather than marrying the wrong guy just to have a husband. And if you’re ever going to find him, you have to: 1) work the numbers, and 2) stop looking when you do (***). I know a woman who met 37 guys within one year in her search for a husband. She married number 35. My mother met the love of her life (and third husband) at age 42. Yeah, you have to be ready; you have to be open; but most of all, you have to be at the right place at the right time (i.e. lucky). And sometimes, just sometimes, that luck lasts for a while. Until it does, you also have to know when to walk away (and believe in yourself when you do -- at least most of the time).

Random quotes I liked from the book (I didn’t read its beginning with a pencil so quotes start half way through):
(***)“… people are more satisfied with nonreturnable items than they are with returnable ones.” (pg 152, Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice)
(**)“that’s the thing about choice: if you don’t choose anything, eventually you are left with nothing.” (pg 155)
“I have friends who do the whole 10 p.m. Googling thing – what about that girl from high school? And while it’s tempting, you have to remember that the internet is just a modern-day Harlequin romance filled with real characters” (pg. 171)
(**)“Two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women” (because) “women want more” from relationships (romance, passion, help around the house) (pg 210)
(*)“…one characteristic to look for in a husband is simply someone who wants to be married.” (pg 223)

on the bike car 2

This was a cute little interaction. We were all lined up to get off the train with our bikes. I, of course, loved it that this guy was still wearing his tie. So, I asked if I could take his photo.

When I checked if the photo had come out, I was really impressed with it. He looks natural, happy, even a little mischievous. A lot of personality was coming through.
I said: "You probably know that you're incredibly photogenic."
He told me he had no idea.

She likes red.

From the bike car of Caltrain

Wi-Drive Chic 2

I was talking last week about the bus I usually ride to work. It creates community. It holds our little family -- especially as more time passes. Since we work in Silicon Valley, most of the guys dress pretty casually for work. But everyone once in a while, and sometimes just specific people, take it up a notch. Like this guy. Good thing he doesn't have toe clips that might scuff up those magnificent shoes.(1)

Every morning, folks play with their phones until the bus comes. Sometimes we chat.

When the bus comes, our bikes go into the luggage compartment. Most of the gentlemen load their own bikes, but the driver usually helps the ladies with theirs. Being genetically predisposed to weaker upper body strength, I appreciate his assistance.

Here's our snazzy friend on a different day, in a different well-put-together outfit. Some people just keep impressing.

(1) This problem can also be resolved with plastic toe clips.

Jon Stewart's delicious commentary on 40 years of oil crisis

An Energy-Independent Future

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Thanks, Streetsblog, for bringing this to my attention. So good.

Wi-Drive Chic 1

You've definitely heard me complain about my commute. Something happened last year that made it about a million times better. Bauer's started running a private bus for the general public (although mostly Cisco employees) between my home and my office. I sometimes bring my bike bc the distance on the work end is about a mile. But that's a completely walkable distance too. So, I bring my bike if I will need it during the day or in the evening or if shaving off 10 minutes in the morning makes a difference to me (i.e., I have a morning meeting).

One of the great things about riding the bus is that it creates community. We live these crazy lives where we're away from home 12 hours a day, but at least we have each other. This lady doesn't ride the bus anymore, but I always loved seeing what quirky outfit she combined with her biking. In this photo, check out her socks and Nutcase helmet.

In these two photos, she's got on a really cute dress over leggings. You also noticed her awesome hair color and stylish sunglasses.

Here's the bus -- gotta run!

Error

I keep getting this error. Can someone help?

(Thanks, 'D)

BeZerkeley Zebra

You can tell this woman is a utilitarian cyclist and not just a woman in a dress walking a bike because of her messenger bag and sunglasses. Mostly the messenger bag. I love the way she is seemingly accidentally color-coordinated with her bike, and I'm a little bit in love with the bright yellow water bottle holders on the black and white road bike.

A lot of people chat on the phone while riding their bikes. Not me. And especially not on trafficky Shattuck Avenue. But even with both hands occupied, this zebra lady is handling herself with ease.

Years ago, I was walking at this very spot, and a guy on a bike rode onto the sidewalk. He was in complete control, but an elderly woman became incensed by his presence with 5 feet of her on the sidewalk. She turned to me, her face creased with rage: "did you see that?"

I didn't get what the big deal was, but she seemed really upset. I replied "I wonder if you should try meditating."

Yeah, that didn't go over very well. She began screeching at me about Jesus. I'm not into organized religion for myself, but don't get me wrong, Jesus is way cool. I don't see having a calm mind and loving Jesus as being mutually exclusive. In fact, I'm pretty sure He has some messages about not hurling stones, sharing, loving thy neighbors, etc.

Unfortunately, there's a perception of opposition between religious and spiritual systems and between bicyclists and pedestrians. But in fact, we're all on the same team. Was there something else I should have said to that woman?

Banksy: This'll look nice when its framed.

San Francisco's Mission art scene is complex and multi-faceted. I was at my little co-op gallery, hanging a new show of old works for the month of May (now down), and a fellow artist there pointed out this graffiti across the street. He told me it was a famous tagger and people were coming by from all over to photograph and then blog about it.

Later, I read in San Francisco Magazine: "No one has verified international tagger Banksy's real identity, but locals suspect that this particular portrait of the artist as a young man was painted by him sometime between the late hours of April 20 and the wee hours of April 21, just days after San Francisco's primiere of his street-art documentary, Exit Through the Gift Shop. Though Banksy has managed to avoid the official art world for years, that hasn't stopped dealers from dismanteling his walls and selling them for $400,000-plus a pop. This piece joins nearly a dozen recent works attributed to the elusive tagger, his first big "showing" here. Let's hope our street cleaners are also discerning art critics." (pg 28, June 2010)

Alas, our street cleaners turned out not the be the problem. Within a couple days, another tagger, clearly jealous of all the attention this Banksy tag was getting, augmented it: "1 Man 1 Nite 1 Bike NOLA." Totally not cool, Man. I always thought taggers were reputedly respectful of each others' work -- that a mural on a wall was less likely to be graffitied on than a blank wall. Now I'm wondering if everyone feels so marginalized, so silenced, that they take every opportunity to scream their message even at the expense of their brethren.

Art is, of course, about expressing yourself, about emotion, and the challenges of being human on earth. It isn't easy whether you're talking about art, isolation, environmental degradation or any other number of a million things that could be on your mind. I'm hungry for a day when street artists respect each other again.

Back to business as usual, the wall was completely painted over again within a few days (not shown in photos here because that would be boring). The whole "event" recorded only on our cameras, blogs and magazines. I love living in the Mission because art is part of every way life. Banksy, tag us again. 1 Man, 1 Bike guy, find your own frigging wall to tag. Everyone else, use your imagination. I can't wait to see how you feel.

overheard on 22nd Street

"She was, like, making out with everyone... which is, you know, awesome." (I got the feeling that he didn't really think it was "awesome" exactly.)

quote of the day

From the SVBC bulletin:
"I relax by taking my bicycle apart and putting it back together again."
-Michelle Pfeiffer

ViaVelo

This made me smile.

Bronte Sisters Power Dolls

Thanks, K.

Romeo and Juliet

Last night, Julie and I went to the ballet. I have season tickets and have enjoyed Swan Lake, The Little Mermaid (my favorite -- I love her fishy movements) and, last night, Romeo and Juliet. We started the evening with a light meal at Samovar at the adorable corner of Page and Laguna. (I love the tea-food pairing.) After the show, we had a lovely dessert at Beretta, which (take note!) serves food until 1 am every night of the week.

But back to Romeo and Juliet...my friend Julie, a trained ballerina (Julliard, no less), said she had seen duets she'd liked better, but never duets with more passion expressed through them. I was sucked in when they danced, completely believing their love affair without words expressing it. I love visiting real estate open homes because you get a peak into people's lives. I will look in windows and watch their residents' private lives if given the opportunity. These duets felt like something real, like we were watching a private expression of how the two felt about each other. The dancers were really good actors.

Well, no, apparently not.

After the final bow, someone handed Davit Karapetyan (Romeo, from Yerevan, Armenia) a microphone. He thanked the audience, the orchestra, the cast, and then he proceeded to get down on one knee and propose marriage to Vanessa Zahorian (Juliet, from Allentown, PA). She nodded yes, and he placed a ring on her finger. (I, for one, was losing my body's moisture quickly through my eyes.) It was without a doubt the most authentically romantic thing I have ever seen in my life.

Urban Homesteading

"'Alcohol is often the gateway to urban homesteading.'" I don't know about brewing cider (I prefer red wine) or making your own linen underwear. I am grateful for a community garden plot. But I'm just dying for a backyard of my own to grow food and chickens.
NYT: That Big Farm Called San Francisco

sleep improves athletic performance too

NYT: To Improve Fitness, Try Sleep

one of my favorite quotes

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right."
-Henry Ford

what's in your head

I no longer blog about anger management bc I'm no longer in a relationship with a person with anger management issues. But, that doesn't mean the ideas aren't still in my heart. K keeps me posted on interesting things that happen on her social workout blog. This week, it's Brad Robert's inspirational words about getting in shape with yoga, and, more interesting to me, how some other forms of exercise made him feel: "I kickboxed for a while, because it was fun to hit things. But, first of all, I smashed my foot. And then I noticed that, rather than being cathartic, kick boxing just made me more angry. I'd be walking down the street, and I'd see some guy, and I'd start thinking what would I do do to take him down. I'd be imagining: "MY ELBOW. YOUR NECK. I COULD KILL YOU!" I don't need that going on in my head."

One thing I think a lot about is what I want in my head. You get these things from the people you spend time with, the things you do, and your physical environment. For example, I don't think it's dis-loyal or bad in any way to avoid investing in people who are overly critical, negative or superficial. After all, it's my head, and I get to choose what to put in it. So, Roberts observations transcend anger management -- they're also about consciousness. You are what you do. (And, conversely, do what you are... do be do be do.)

I've been reading The Secret, which is just the same message again. Last night, I read the chapter on Health. It told stories of people curing cancer with funny movies. I've been under the weather lately; so, watching more TV than usual. I stream, and I ran out of shows to watch. This eventually resulted in the same outcome as if I had TV reception: crime television. I started watching CSI. Ugh. Those people are unhappy. They're solving crimes (where people are horrible to each other by definition). And the cinematography is dark. Yeah, here on my blog, I now state my commitment to fixing this problem.

The MAPP

A couple weekends ago, I had the magnificent joy to attend the MAPP, the Mission Arts & Performance Project, a bi-monthly, multidisciplinary, intercultural community arts event that takes place in the South-East neighborhood of the Mission District. It's my second favorite thing that happens in San Francisco all year round (first is Hardly Strictly Bluegrass). I'm not going to review our entire evening (fulled with Secret Gardens, soulful music, dancing, poetry about politics...), I'm just going to show you this photo I took of some of Carl Pisaturo incredibly cool robotic sculptures. Always a hit!

Silicon Valley Commuter

I snapped this guy waiting with me for the VTA Light Rail because he wore typical work clothes on his 10-speed. His helmet and backpack are funky, but he's more dressed up than your average commuter nerd in the Valley. Maybe he's in management?

Either way, he's got the best possible commute. No matter what happens at work, you can always count on your bike to make you smile at the end of the day.

[Brian Smith] Berkeley Celtic music Comice

My pal Brian, the editor of another blog I sometimes contribute to, sent me this photo he snapped in Berkeley. Presumably, they're on their way to a Celtic Music Festival.

The title is Brian's. I looked up Comice:
Co·mice /kəˈmis/ (noun) a large, juicy variety of pear.
Yeah, the girl's cute, and so are you, Brian.

Break-up Reasons Provided

Wanna break up but can't explain why? Here are a list of possible reasons from which you can choose... compiled from life experience, friends' experiences and bad television.

Check all that apply:
• It’s not you, it’s me. I’m all messed up right now.
• It’s not me, it’s you. I just don’t like you that much.
• I’m just not feeling it.
• I’m still in love with my ex(es).
• I want to be with someone who (doesn't) smoke(s) pot.
• I want to be with someone with whom I have more in common culturally (i.e. shoots guns, smokes, is into material possessions, loves to shop, has experience in the sex industry (circle as appropriate or add item(s) here ___________________________________________).
• It was moving too fast. I got scared.
• I never want to get married and have a family (with you).
• I’m just not that into you.
• You did X (i.e. took your ex-boyfriends call when he rang….describe in detail here _______________________________________), and it really pissed me off.
• I can’t stand the way you X (i.e., I can’t stand the smell of your hand lotion…describe in detail here _________________________________________________)
• You’re too good for me. You’ll leave me when you realize that, and I can’t handle the stress of waiting for that to happen.
• I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now.
• I want to be with someone who has a less interesting life (i.e., worse job, fewer or no friends or hobbies) so that they are available to hang out with me all the time.
• I met someone else.

Dear Readers: Did I miss something? Please add it in the comments below.

how to be happy (vs. money)

NYT: "If the relationship between money and well-being is complicated, the correspondence between personal relationships and happiness is not. The daily activities most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others. The daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting. According to one study, joining a group that meets even just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income. According to another, being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year."

Thanks, Cheryl.

Why we need to dream

Sleep is my religion, and I'm always looking for more evidence to support this belief system.

Why We Need to Dream

Cute

Hyperbole: Cake vs. Pie

LA Journal, part 1... I hope....

My plane left at 8:45, which seemed like a perfectly reasonable hour when I booked the ticket. I arrived in LA at 10, Santa Monica by 11. On the bus from LAX I met a couple foreign boys studying business in Malibu who kindly gave me directions. They also observed that hamburgers are available on every street corner in the US.
What did you expect? I asked.
Steak, maybe, he replied.
The Pole told me of his obsession with Taco Bell, to which I shook my head. Why not try to get real Mexican food? He wasn’t convinced.
He also talked about Bay Watch, but the German instructed him never to talk to women about that show. (He said they’d seen it being filmed. It was a highlight.)

Without knowing where I wanted to go, they instructed me on where to get off the bus. I had to trek back a few blocks to the Santa Monica Pier where I planned to rent a bike. It was a fun detour since I got pulled into a market research study about chocolate covered almonds on the way. It began with a few simple questions about my eating habits. It’s always fun to be asked questions I know the answer to like that. Then I was instructed to taste 2 different kinds of almonds and rank my preference based on appearance and flavor, and describe why. Finally, for an additional $5 (the first part earned me a Starbucks card), I did an oral interview about my perception of different brands of almonds. Almonds aren’t that much different than buses; it was almost like work!

So, I rented a turquoise lady’s beach cruiser, and my bag was terribly heavy still despite all plans to pack light. I asked for “a bike, a helmet, a basket and a lock.” And the guy said “so, the works, hu?” With the map, he gave me directions along the beach bike path, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had no plans to bike along it but that I was going straight into the city.

By now it was after noon, and I wanted lunch. Under the direction of Yelp, I had selected an Bay Cities Italian Deli and Bakery which Yelp called “an institution”. It was more like an Italian deli and grocery shop with beautiful assortments of capers, sea salt, lemons in jars, peppers in jars, cookies, etc. I got out of there with “The Godmother” sandwich, a little Greek salad, and a box of mini cantalones. The place was mobbed, and procuring lunch took about an hour.
Overheard: now I know why this place is only for special occasions.
I ate at a table in the parking lot with sun-hat and –glasses. A mother and daughter (about 12), also celebrating something, joined me; I eyed the daughter’s meatball sandwich.

From there, I biked up Broadway, the closest adjacent street with a bike lane, to the Santa Monica Art Museum and the Bergamot Station which is filled with art galleries. The one exhibit that I found really interesting was in the far corner and involved acrylic cubes that formed 3D shapes such as a monkey and human scull, male and female human bodies with the internal organs, and a number of trees. If you looked at them from the side all you saw was clear acrylic.

Walking into one gallery, I greeted the person behind the desk as usual. He replied “Why are you so happy?” – I didn’t know I was “so happy” but I’ll take it. He spoke slowly and took a long time to get the point. I asked if the paintings were, more or less, done from photographs (most were of lovely blond young girls in surreal settings). And somehow we got into an impassioned (for him) conversation about artists over-pricing their art. Eventually, I pretended to get a phone call (something I almost never do) and snuck away to the restroom.

The Museum showed a movie of Jerusalem: the devout Jews blocking off the roadways to their neighborhoods for the Sabbath presenting a separation between two ways of life and thought in Israel.

Looking at art is exhausting, but I lasted as long as I could. I went from there to the Co-Opportunity Grocery Store, possibly LA’s only hippy-dippy co-op grocery store (?). I got some wine for Linda and Roger, Carolyn’s parents, who had kindly agreed to host me.

Classy Nails, found through yelp, was my next destination, and spending a hour getting pampered and having my nails tended was just what the doctor ordered. It wasn’t easy to find a color that matched the red of my dress for all of their 15+ available shades of red, but I think I did OK.

Then back to the beach to return the bike before meeting Rachel for dinner.

…

My first night here, I pulled off the shelf a book called “getting the love you want” a guide for couples. Saturday morning, Roger was trying to leave for Idaho and missing his book, it turned out the same one. (He called it a “convergence” that of all the books on their shelves, that’s the one I selected to read before sleep.) As a consolation prize, he suggested I look at “Lives in Progress” (Robert W. White).

More to follow… hopefully….

This is adorable.

young me now me

Thanks, L.

my HS classmate, Reuben Margolin

Totally Rad.

What do I remember about Reuben? Nice and smart (which didn't happen together that often at BHS), he gave people (me) the benefit of the doubt... and was totally cute. He was a leader in the unicycle club.

thoughts on growing up in Berkeley

Sometimes being me is a little lonely. For example, someone on my chat list had a string on nonsense words as their status update ("I wanna pop pop pop. I wanna shasta"). I asked about it. He replied "Don't you remember the commercial from when we were kids?"

My reply? "I wasn't allowed to watch television."

Yeah, I wanna deeply connect with other people. And that's challenging because I grew up in the People's Republic of Berkeley. I learned last week that NBC launched a tv series called Parenthood which is supposed to take place in Berkeley but actually appears nothing like it.

At least my plight is getting some attention. Facebook has been a wonderful opportunity to stay connected with friends from my youth. My little sister and I often observe how easy it is talk to each other compared with a lot of other people in the world. My childhood friends understand things, without explanation, I can never assume that others do. Ages ago, I joined the facebook group Your Mom is So Berkeley where we share one-liners. A NYT article reminded of to check it today: I laughed, I cried, I felt I wasn't alone any more.

Video clips

I'm going to watch this later.

Bicycle Music Festival

I'm finally getting around to editing my photos from last summer's bicycle music festival. I'll probably hold them off from release until shortly before the 2010 event, but I wanted to share this one with you now as I love it particularly.

Doesn't she look great? Features not to miss: her yellow striped socks, the reflection in her helmet, and that lovely blue color on her skirt. Thanks, mystery lady. You made my day.

Do you recognise this woman?

You shouldn't since she isn't real. She does appear to be a composite including myself and many women I know. None of us, however, "fuck on the first date." I, for example, shoot for the fifth. That said, I live in the Mission, my boobs (if you want to call them that) are real, I've never owned a car, and my phone is from 2004 (so ha! Out-done is pretend woman!).

Happy Birthday, little sister!

(Doesn't she look like a movie star?) Her birthday was yesterday.

dapper gentleman, TS Eliot, and decaf

Sometimes on my work-from-home days, I take a break to visit Philz Coffee on 24th Street. I love their cream goodness, not to mention that it's one of the only coffee shops I know that offers an organic decaf option. "I grow old … I grow old … I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled" to avoid my bike spokes and only be able to drink decaf coffee because my heart is delicate. Yeah, I'm not happy about it, but I'm not arguing with reality.

On this day, I admired this dapper gentleman waiting for the light to change.

Having been recently scolded for shooting photos without permission, I asked. He snipped back that if I could catch his image before the light changed, I was welcome to it. The really cute part was when he waited for me. I asked him to ride away because I always love to provide a closing shot of my lovely cyclists breezing away.

Happiness in 5 steps

5 things that will make you happier
They are:
1) gratitude
2) optimism
3) counting your blessings (a lot like gratitude...hmm)
4) using your strengths
5) kindness

You are beautiful. You are perfect.

Last month, I talked about the possibility of human perfection. While it does not compute in my mind, seeing youself as flawed is equally destructive. On Sunday a few weeks back I found these gentlemen on Valencia sharing the love.


I love San Francisco.

in defense of napping

I love these findings that napping makes us learn faster and be smarter. (Thanks, K, for bringing this article to my attention.) What gives me pause is this comparison of the human brain to a computer system. I guess it's possible that computers are simplified versions of our brains, but it's also possible that our brains are much much more complicated than any computer could ever be. I believe in the human-ness of us that transcends electronics.

t-shirt words I like

"talk nerdy to me" has really grown on me since I first saw it. The more I watch my reaction to things and people, the more it resonates. I also recently saw one that said "I only like New York as a friend" -- you know, instead of a heart for love. That was hilarious.

Negotiation and road forks

I was just listening to Forum on the radio. The topic was Bargaining with the Devil: when to negotiate and when to fight. Examples included Mandela negotiating from prison and the US not negotiating with Hitler. I listened with keen interest, but only harvested a few precious nuggets instructive on life.

For one thing, you can't always negotiate with people you trust. You've heard people say they will only negotiate with people they trust, but sometimes that's not a luxury available to you. Many people you can't trust. In fact, I want to do some thinking on what trust is at all.

Also, negotiation only works when you have a Plan B in case the negotiation doesn't work out. You know I'm a huge fan of backup plans. (In fact, I've been fascinated to find that sometimes my Plan B becomes better than my Plan A the more I think about it.) Someone recently asked me to describe the most significant fork in the road I've encountered. In 1997-98, I ended my most important relationship to date (still), quit my job, and went back to graduate school. I guess I wasn't ready to grow up. Am I ready now? (K asks). I hope so. I wonder if our lives become, over time, the multidimensional things including everything we are and everything we could have been, every life we've lived and every life we could have lived. I guess all possible outcomes include sweet and sour flavors.

Mazatlan, January 2009

I'm not going to lie to you. 2009 was one of my least favorite years to date. Relationship drama, friend drama, health drama, you-name-it drama all decorated the otherwise structurally-powerful tree of the year. My vacations were wonderful: Alaska rocks the house, and France was beautiful though emotionally-intense due to M's cancer treatment.

Early in the year, I went to Mexico for a week to make art. I've been procrastinating editing those photos all year bc I didn't want to deal with the feelings I associate with adjacent times. But now that I have, they're stunning. Check them out.

Flowering from within

Deeply moved by this poem that my yoga teacher recited, in part, in class tonight. How great is it that I live in a place where yoga teachers recite poetry?

Saint Francis And The Sow

The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;
as Saint Francis
put his hand on the creased forehead
of the sow, and told her in words and in touch
blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow
began remembering all down her thick length,
from the earthen snout all the way
through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail,
from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine
down through the great broken heart
to the blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering
from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath
them:
the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

© 1980 by Galway Kinnell

Dating question: "Do you have a passport and a library card?"

In the search for lasting love, this is an important question to be asking perspective partners you meet. A NYT article describes a shift in coupling, More Men Marrying Wealthier Women. While I have no trouble finding perspective dates, I'm not married but want to be. My previous two (foreign) boyfriends both had a problem with my career prospects (that they are good). They never asked if it was negotiable, which brings to light that the problem was their egos. But I'm not sure this is true of the typical Bay Area American man. I do have to screen, as the title question indicates, for literate- and worldliness.

A recent article in San Francisco Magazine discussed how many career women who chose to be work-at-home moms are now forced to return to work because their husbands were laid off. In the article, this is particularly humiliating since their skills are grossly out-of-date and thus their earning potential much lower than it was when they chose to leave the workforce. I read somewhere else that we've only been negotiating these issues about 20 years -- we have no role models, no rules or guiding principles, we just have to trust that it's all going to work out.

Don't mess with Mister In-Between

Happy MLK Day!

My alarm went off at 8:40 this morning. Since it's the end of a long weekend, it woke me up. I was also up late last night savoring the near-end of BSG, and you know how I feel about quality television.

I can't find it now, but the radio discussed neural reprogramming. A teenage girl struggled with depression. She was spending time with mean girls. Her neural reprogramming process involved questioning her reaction to the situation. Was she really an unlikable person? Or was it also possible that these girls didn't like her while other girls did? She changed friends and felt much better.

Most self-help is the same; each one just uses different language. Neural reprogramming is like meditation (where you let go of your thoughts). I recently enjoyed reading "Loving What Is" where you confirm that your thoughts have a basis in reality (or change them if they don't).

On BSG, Baltar (one of the main characters, originally a brilliant scientist) becomes a religious leader of a small but growing cult. He preaches to them, "you are perfect just the way you are." Within a couple days of watching that, K sent me the following quote, "When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky" ~ Gautama Buddha. When coincidences like that happen, I pause.

I don't believe in perfection... at least not in living things. The concept doesn't fit. Perfect moments on the other hand....

I spent yesterday with my mother and sister.

We ate dim sum and then walked along Crissy Field where we saw a rainbow.

It rained intermittently. My sister reminded my mother of something she said on one of their vacations "If it gets any better than this, I'm not even interested." My mother noted that negative experiences stick with us so that we can protect ourselves from wild animals. We only remember positive experiences if they last for at least 20 seconds.


Which reminds me of methods for remembering people's names. I've heard that if you repeat the persons name three times after you've heard it (which presumably lasts at least 20 seconds), you're more likely to remember it.

At this point, I am tempted to break into song. You're lucky you're reading this and not in the room with me:

AC-CENT-TCHU-ATE THE POSITIVE (Mister In-Between)
(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
...

"My bicycle is my lover."

Bike racing does nothing for me. I'm happy for those people, because they're happy. But they can be a small obstruction in our global transformation to bringing the bicycle into the mainstream. You know, all that spandex.

This video about Jacquie Phelan paused those views. I mean, check out those pockadots, awesome tights, even the tea pot. And I liked it when she said that the bicycle is not just a personal transportation vehicle but also a personal transformation vehicle.

Social Media and Breaking Up

I'll blog on this later, but for now, the link:
In The Age of Social Media, Can You Escape Your Ex?

more thoughts on sleep

One of my friends posted this article on facebook which states that sleep is the next big issue in the fight for equal rights for women. But I'm inclined to agree with the commenters: where is the evidence that women are the ones who suffer from this affliction the most? True, they are usually the primary caretakers of children who often require their caretakers to lose sleep. But employers appear to expect both men and women equally to sleep less than they need.

Actually, maybe the problem isn't just employers. It's also the transportation system. I sleep best in the morning, and when under-rested, I'm out of luck if I miss that 8:19 train (which gets me to work before 10). Meanwhile, getting enough rest makes you healthier, live longer, smarter, more alert and have better judgment -- all things I know my employer would like for me to sustain. That said, I have no complaints about my employer for the record. They are incredibly accommodating of my needs. But that hasn't always been the case. So, I also feel the pain of most workers who don't have the same luck (or is it persistence?).

I've weeded out the more judgmental of my social circle. But many of these former friends, and my mother, judge me for my need for sleep. I feel sorry for them, but I also know, and have received the feedback from many others, that I get way more done than the average bear. It's not unlike issue-based politics, task-based work performance evaluation, and health-based evaluation of personal success. Break it down, and you'll find what the real issue is. My point is that we also have to fight society for our right to rest.

The Final Tomatoes of 2009

My tomato plants were still producing on xmas eve day. We'd never get enough sun for those babies to ripen. So, I moved my plot on to greens and beans. Shown here is the end of my tomato harvest of 2009.

Not sure what to do with green tomatoes, I let them rest in my kitchen. Some went bad (think tomatoes with guns, holding up a liquor store). But many others ended up in our family new year's eve dinner roasted veggies... and then new year's day baked eggs. They were supper yummy.