Wanna break up but can't explain why? Here are a list of possible reasons from which you can choose... compiled from life experience, friends' experiences and bad television.
Check all that apply:
• It’s not you, it’s me. I’m all messed up right now.
• It’s not me, it’s you. I just don’t like you that much.
• I’m just not feeling it.
• I’m still in love with my ex(es).
• I want to be with someone who (doesn't) smoke(s) pot.
• I want to be with someone with whom I have more in common culturally (i.e. shoots guns, smokes, is into material possessions, loves to shop, has experience in the sex industry (circle as appropriate or add item(s) here ___________________________________________).
• It was moving too fast. I got scared.
• I never want to get married and have a family (with you).
• I’m just not that into you.
• You did X (i.e. took your ex-boyfriends call when he rang….describe in detail here _______________________________________), and it really pissed me off.
• I can’t stand the way you X (i.e., I can’t stand the smell of your hand lotion…describe in detail here _________________________________________________)
• You’re too good for me. You’ll leave me when you realize that, and I can’t handle the stress of waiting for that to happen.
• I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now.
• I want to be with someone who has a less interesting life (i.e., worse job, fewer or no friends or hobbies) so that they are available to hang out with me all the time.
• I met someone else.
Dear Readers: Did I miss something? Please add it in the comments below.
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2 comments:
Hilarious. Thanks.
Thanks, Nigel. I hoped folks would think it's funny and not too bitter. We're hiking this Saturday -- wish you could join us!
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