Sin: Pride

In Ethan Brand, Hawthorn finds that the unpardonable sin is the violation of the sanctity of another person’s heart. Is that sometimes called betrayal? Years ago, Elizabeth suggested that “if someone doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated, don’t spend time with them.” The idea blew my mind! I always thought that life, society, relationships were all about working with what you’re given. I didn’t know you could reject it.

But I find that I can. Yes, devastating heartbreak is unforgivable. And there is no limit to the number of times you can recreate yourself.

At Burning Man one year, Kristin wrote the deadly sins all over her mostly-naked body. Then, she went around asking people she met which sin was theirs. I’ve experienced sloth, greed, envy, gluttony, lust to a point of being tempted to select them. I’ve never been much for wrath. In my heart, I know my sin is pride, but at the same time, I’m pretty amazing. Is it still pride if it’s justified?

My sister was reviewing for me her romantic prospects over the phone yesterday. She listed what they looked like, whether they wanted to get married and have children, what their religions were, where they wanted to live, and the kinds of things they liked to do. I suggested she spend time with them and see who she falls in love with, but she disagreed. She said “we have had many years of being with the wrong people and that was wonderful…” but now is the time to screen for our goals. Maybe it’s my pride, but I’m just not willing to give up my idealism.

I don’t need a man to have a baby. I don’t need a partner to buy a house. I don’t even need a job to support myself. Yes, all those things would be nice, but I can do it all without them if the alternative is the wrong man, partner, job…. There is no limit to the number of times I can recreate myself.