Changing the World One Man at a Time

I’ve been wrestling internally about which dating stories I am allowed to record publicly. Tonight, I want to err on the side of conservation. But there is one I can definitely share.

Some weeks back, I was checking the bike lockers at work near one of our buildings far from my own. A man about my age stood smoking and watching me as I checked each lock. After a short time, he approached me with small talk. I participated enthusiastically, hoping to convince him to start biking to work or at least find a carpool. We covered the basics: what I was doing, how he gets to works, how he could get to work, how long we’ve both worked there….
Him: Are you seeing anyone? Because you’re very attractive.
Me: Um… thank you… No, I’m not.
After a quick think, I opted for the truth.
Him: Would you like to go out sometime?
Me: Maybe.
H: My birthday is this weekend, and we’re going out in the city. Maybe you’d like to come? …I know that sounds strange asking you first thing to come to my birthday party….
M: I’m busy this weekend, but if you bike to work, maybe we could have lunch sometime.
I think I winked.
I told him to look me up on the intra-net, and get in touch. I said I would send him his ideal bike route to the office.

He emailed me the next day and apologized for being so forward and reiterated why. I didn’t really want to encourage him. I mean, he smokes, drives, and has a job that doesn’t excite me. None of those are really deal-breakers themselves but combined…. I sent him his bike route plan through inter-office mail so as to avoid encouraging communication. He emailed me again to thank me. I emailed him at some point to ask a work-related question, and I included pleasantries. I told him I was too busy for lunch. I implied that I would find time when he started biking to work. I’m changing the world one man at a time.

Another week or so goes by, and I have a bad weekend. I consider the ways that I can boost my ego. Don’t look down on me, you know you do it too. He also managed to say something interesting in one of his messages. I sent him a chatty reply. We corresponded a little and even participated in the same in-person conversation once. I began to feel better about myself. But he still hasn’t biked to work. Finally, we make a plan for lunch including my encouragement that he bike that day.

The designated time and place rolls around, and I wait. And wait. I go back to my desk to check my email and voicemail in case he’s sent either. Nothing. I wait a little more, and then I eat without him. On the way home, I check my personal mobile phone for the first time. He’d left a message on it saying that he was fired the previous day… something to do with driving the van…. He called again on Friday night and left a message with invitations for the weekend. I haven’t called him back.

Now, I was never interested in this guy. And him having been fired… well, I guess the bottom line is that it’s no longer my job to get him to bike to work.