Halloween

I often do not celebrate Halloween because in San Francisco people celebrate by wandering the streets, getting drunk and generally behaving badly. Since I never wander, drink or behave at all, I feel out of place during these festivities. This year, the universe has conspired against me by giving me a VP candidate I resemble slightly. To be Sarah Palin, all I have to do is sling a gun, disabled baby or "Miss Alaska" banner over my shoulder and I'm set in my usual ensemble. However, before I venture down this road, I want to make one unequivocal statement:

Tina Fey is prettier than Sarah Palin.

That's what you need to know.