Questions and Answers

I'm playing a slightly new little game that involves asking questions of strangers and vice versa. My mother suggested I post some of my more interesting answers. Here they are.

I think "adventure" means different things to different people. What does adventure mean for you, and have you had any memorable adventures recently?
Some of my friends think I have a high tolerance for risk. So, my idea of adventure is probably different than others'. I travel a lot not because I like it but because it's good for me -- gives me perspective. I hope to be taking up new hobbies pretty much until I physically can't anymore. I believe that the brain never stops growing, that the human capacity for change and re-creation is unlimited and that embracing those activities is good and healthy. That said, I dislike wondering if I am going to die or where I am going to sleep tonight. So, I guess adventure to me is walking that fine line between uncertainty and discomfort.

Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.
I do a lot of things, and I am very happy to keep most of my hobbies as my own (as opposed to "ours"). I have thought that I would like a partner who is a skilled camper. I am not a skilled camper. I am a competent person who likes the outdoors, but I don't have a lot of experience roughing it in the wilderness. It would be cool to be with someone who also likes the outdoors but has better outdoors skills than I do. On the other hand, it doesn't have to be that exact thing; it can be something like that.

They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure, and how does it make you feel?
It would have to be tea. I really like cheap Irish breakfast tea with sugar and soymilk. I like it strong enough so that it tastes just a tiny bit bitter. It makes me feel comforted, invigorated, alive. I'm used to drinking tea with my mother or my best girlfriends. so, it probably reminds me of that intimacy.

Do you feel a particular connection with a type of animal, and if so which one and why?
I really like chickens. I am not a scared person -- it isn't their cliched meaning that I relate to. I like how directed they are (towards worms, scratching and eating). I like how silly they look. The way they tilt their heads to one side when you talk to them makes me smile. I enjoy their unbridled enthusiasm.

How do you envision a successful relationship? What is it that you truly want in your next relatioship?
That's a tricky one. I would like to keep my own hobbies and my own friends. On the other had, I would also like to have a lot of shared activities. I wouldn't mind sailing together sometimes, but I want to keep it my thing with my friends. A regular Sunday afternoon hike would be perfect. I would like to cook and clean and jog together. Sometimes reading the same book so that we can discuss it would be fun. I'm looking forward to lots of meaty conversations.

What kind of adventures appeal to you (urban & non) and how do you work 'excitement' into your life?
I feel like my life is full of adventures, but when I go to write down what they are... well, it seems less clear. ... On Wednesday, I left work in Sunnyvale on my bike. I got as far at Sam Mateo before it got dark. Then, I rode in the dark to BART in Millbrae and took the train the rest of the way. That was an adventure that would have been both more fun and less of an adventure with someone else. I also like getting lost in the wilderness... and doing karaoke.

...do you love your work and see your self doing this or something similar for the forseeable future?
...I was chatting with some girlfriends last night, and one of them observed that I can both be incredibly creative in my job and there is nothing blocking me. A lot of it is customer service and marketing. But I also enjoy the project management, analysis and planning parts. I've been learning a lot at work lately about conflict resolution and "getting to yes". I used to think if someone said "no" that that was definitive. It turns out, at my job anyway, "no" means ask me again in a few weeks. It's very liberating. Who'd a thunk?

What have you learned from past relationships?
Ahahaah! I've learned a lot about myself and what I need. I've learned that if my partner isn't treating me the way I want to be treated, I must leave. I've learned to make sure we want the same big things in our future. I've learned to pay attention to my reaction to his past relationship stories. I've learned that being alone is better than being with the wrong person. I've learned that it's wrong to be with someone I am not deeply in love with just to avoid rocking the boat. I've learned how important it is to have a good group of friends outside the relationship... and a good set of hobbies. I've learned that the most important thing is for me to be completely in love with who I am in a relationship, and the second most important thing is for me to be in love with my partner.