Email correspondence this morning on Life Purpose(s)

Lilia to Alison
…
Do you ever wonder if there's something you were born to do, and if you're on the right path to do it?

Alison to me
All the time! And about once a month I think I'm on the right career path. The rest of the time I think I am completely off. And you?

Lilia to Alison
Jared and I were discussing this late into the night last night. I feel, rightfully, a bit scattered. Things I have been told over my life that I am talented at:
Singing (yeah, that's a lost cause, of course)
Drawing
Math
Getting information from people (both individually and in surveys)
Project management
Analysis, bringing concepts from one type of analysis into another

Well, those last 2, I decided I was good at, but I still think I'm right.

But how does that work together? And what should I be offering the world? I'm reading this book about Van Gogh, and he really struggled to find the right career path. When he finally decided on art, he failed through out his life to make a living or be recognized. Even his brother Theo, who supported him his entire life as an artist, didn't like his work.

My aunt Judy is another example. What if she had never been handed a ball of yarn? She would never have discovered this amazing talent, but probably lived an equally contented life. What is my ball of yarn?

Joseph Campbell told us to "follow your bliss and the money will come" but what is my bliss?

Alison to me
Joseph Campbell is full of BS.

… I'm pretty cynical; after many years of trying to figure it all out, I'm not necessarily any closer, and my greatest happiness comes from other things in my life (having a partner is on the top of the list). Despite this morning’s hysterics, and still wanting to do a good job and believing in the mission of the organization, it’s still work and a means for me to be able to do other things.

So there.

Lilia to Alison
…

Yeah, I guess I think that it's partly a matter of definitions. Obviously, you can't make any money by being a good partner and having a deep and fulfilling loving relationship. Someone has to bring home the bacon, and in this modern age (in the Bay Area, anyway), probably you both do. But there might be some other thing you will feel compelled to do in your life.

Sometimes I wonder if all of our agonizing about what to do with our lives was exactly the wrong approach. Maybe, sometimes, the right thing is just obvious. It's like relationships. Years ago, I remember complaining to someone I knew about some boy who was giving me mixed messages. She said: "If you're asking yourself these questions. Well, that's your answer. (It's not happening.)" This has certainly been supported by my experience with relationships.

I'm not sorry I do what I do, am trained to do what I'm trained to do. I love it, and what's more, I really believe in it. That said, I don't think it's my highest calling (or at least I haven't found the aspect of it that is my highest calling). I think there's something else I have to offer the world. But, I've decided that agonizing isn't the right approach. I refuse to be tortured. My plan is to go about my business, and, well, see what reveals itself to me. I expect the universe to surprise me.

Alison to me
…
Have you read Po Bronson’s "What should I do with my life?" …