Fight, Flight, beFriend your bicycle

bikelovejones said today: "To that end, I'm going to stop fighting the wars I cannot win and instead begin to win the battles within reach." She's talking about saving the world from the evils of the automobile, but brought some ideas together in my mind.

KT recently bulk mailed an article on research that found that unlike men, women do not respond to stress with "fight or flight"; instead, they nurture and befriend. I have learned the hard way that this only works with some friends. Other friends can't stand for life's events to be about anyone but themselves. So, it can be efficient to have a complete melt down once every few years to find out who you can count on.

I get a lot of flack for not owning a car and basing my agenda on the time and availability of transit. On the other hand, I recommend it to anyone who asks. I don't like to preach, and I also don't like when people preach at me. There's already plenty of judgment out there. I'm trying to live one example. I don't want to fight about it; I don't want to avoid talking about it; I'm happy to socialize about it and bring you organic cookies on my bicycle if you're feeling sad (and I like you). That's the kind of advocacy that works for me. But I admire people who have energy for the fight. I'm just not one of them.

This is also related to another thing I love to talk about: Democracy. None of us could understand how half the country could have voted for George Bush either time but especially the second time. There was much call to action to talk with our friends and relatives in the red states about politics. Of course we surround ourselves with people we agree with, and talking with people we don't agree with politically is stressful, but can't we all just get along?

I'm not advocating re-friending people who've let you down. I'm suggesting, again, as usual, that (some) women have the special tendency to nurture and discuss in times of crisis, and that maybe more of us should be in positions of power. Yeah, I know, duh. Did you really expect me to say something new?

But back to cars and bicycles...given my home and work locations, it would be enormously more convenient if I had a car. However, cars are expensive, I have no place to put one, and I hate being stuck in traffic. I have a standard carpool, and they carpool with me bc: 1) I give them money, and 2) they can use the HOV lane for faster travel time. We all take the train most often tho bc we enjoy it. A friend was recently telling me she would love to have a car, but she has no place to put one. Another friend got a car bc her apartment came with a parking space. All this speaks to the necessity of creating policy so that it makes sense to be resource efficient... rather than inefficient like our current policy. If drivers paid the true cost of driving, they wouldn't do it unless it was really necessary. But this is still most convincingly related with honey... because transportation can be stressful. And we all know that fighting never led anyone to join hands and sing.