Jealousy

Surprise! I haven't had much to say lately. But there are a few issues I would like to catch you up on... if you're still even reading this after my long silence.

Sultan said last weekend that jealousy can be a good thing because it keeps you both on your toes. I disagree completely. I believe that jealousy is an ugly awful feeling that destroys everything it touches and indicates that a couple isn't giving each other the type and quantity of attention they need. I feel a little jealous most of the time, but when something happens to make me feel more jealous, I can feel my claws come out and my loving self crawl away.

Another friend broke up with a guy a while back. He told her he needed more reassurance (that wasn't the reason, btw). She said that the very fact that she made him feel insecure indicated that they weren't a good match. Yes, some people make us feel perfectly safe. Other people make us feel deeply unstable. Unfortunately, I usually love more the people who make me feel unstable; there's something to lose.

I'm growing peas and chard in my kitchen. They'll migrate to my garden plot once they're bigger. But the sight of their tiny selves fills my heart with dread and worry. I guess if one died, I could just plant another. But I want to be the kind of person who cares about each plant, and, anyway, I don't have much choice in the matter. It's how I'm made. Likewise, if your lover runs off with someone else, of course you're hurt. And of course you'll meet someone else too. Finally, of course, my priority right now is to keep these plants alive. The things I do to make that happen, like watering them and keeping them in the sun, are much more constructive than the way I respond to jealousy.