Happiness in 5 steps

5 things that will make you happier
They are:
1) gratitude
2) optimism
3) counting your blessings (a lot like gratitude...hmm)
4) using your strengths
5) kindness

You are beautiful. You are perfect.

Last month, I talked about the possibility of human perfection. While it does not compute in my mind, seeing youself as flawed is equally destructive. On Sunday a few weeks back I found these gentlemen on Valencia sharing the love.


I love San Francisco.

in defense of napping

I love these findings that napping makes us learn faster and be smarter. (Thanks, K, for bringing this article to my attention.) What gives me pause is this comparison of the human brain to a computer system. I guess it's possible that computers are simplified versions of our brains, but it's also possible that our brains are much much more complicated than any computer could ever be. I believe in the human-ness of us that transcends electronics.

t-shirt words I like

"talk nerdy to me" has really grown on me since I first saw it. The more I watch my reaction to things and people, the more it resonates. I also recently saw one that said "I only like New York as a friend" -- you know, instead of a heart for love. That was hilarious.

Negotiation and road forks

I was just listening to Forum on the radio. The topic was Bargaining with the Devil: when to negotiate and when to fight. Examples included Mandela negotiating from prison and the US not negotiating with Hitler. I listened with keen interest, but only harvested a few precious nuggets instructive on life.

For one thing, you can't always negotiate with people you trust. You've heard people say they will only negotiate with people they trust, but sometimes that's not a luxury available to you. Many people you can't trust. In fact, I want to do some thinking on what trust is at all.

Also, negotiation only works when you have a Plan B in case the negotiation doesn't work out. You know I'm a huge fan of backup plans. (In fact, I've been fascinated to find that sometimes my Plan B becomes better than my Plan A the more I think about it.) Someone recently asked me to describe the most significant fork in the road I've encountered. In 1997-98, I ended my most important relationship to date (still), quit my job, and went back to graduate school. I guess I wasn't ready to grow up. Am I ready now? (K asks). I hope so. I wonder if our lives become, over time, the multidimensional things including everything we are and everything we could have been, every life we've lived and every life we could have lived. I guess all possible outcomes include sweet and sour flavors.

Mazatlan, January 2009

I'm not going to lie to you. 2009 was one of my least favorite years to date. Relationship drama, friend drama, health drama, you-name-it drama all decorated the otherwise structurally-powerful tree of the year. My vacations were wonderful: Alaska rocks the house, and France was beautiful though emotionally-intense due to M's cancer treatment.

Early in the year, I went to Mexico for a week to make art. I've been procrastinating editing those photos all year bc I didn't want to deal with the feelings I associate with adjacent times. But now that I have, they're stunning. Check them out.