Flowering from within

Deeply moved by this poem that my yoga teacher recited, in part, in class tonight. How great is it that I live in a place where yoga teachers recite poetry?

Saint Francis And The Sow

The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;
as Saint Francis
put his hand on the creased forehead
of the sow, and told her in words and in touch
blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow
began remembering all down her thick length,
from the earthen snout all the way
through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail,
from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine
down through the great broken heart
to the blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering
from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath
them:
the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

© 1980 by Galway Kinnell

Dating question: "Do you have a passport and a library card?"

In the search for lasting love, this is an important question to be asking perspective partners you meet. A NYT article describes a shift in coupling, More Men Marrying Wealthier Women. While I have no trouble finding perspective dates, I'm not married but want to be. My previous two (foreign) boyfriends both had a problem with my career prospects (that they are good). They never asked if it was negotiable, which brings to light that the problem was their egos. But I'm not sure this is true of the typical Bay Area American man. I do have to screen, as the title question indicates, for literate- and worldliness.

A recent article in San Francisco Magazine discussed how many career women who chose to be work-at-home moms are now forced to return to work because their husbands were laid off. In the article, this is particularly humiliating since their skills are grossly out-of-date and thus their earning potential much lower than it was when they chose to leave the workforce. I read somewhere else that we've only been negotiating these issues about 20 years -- we have no role models, no rules or guiding principles, we just have to trust that it's all going to work out.

Don't mess with Mister In-Between

Happy MLK Day!

My alarm went off at 8:40 this morning. Since it's the end of a long weekend, it woke me up. I was also up late last night savoring the near-end of BSG, and you know how I feel about quality television.

I can't find it now, but the radio discussed neural reprogramming. A teenage girl struggled with depression. She was spending time with mean girls. Her neural reprogramming process involved questioning her reaction to the situation. Was she really an unlikable person? Or was it also possible that these girls didn't like her while other girls did? She changed friends and felt much better.

Most self-help is the same; each one just uses different language. Neural reprogramming is like meditation (where you let go of your thoughts). I recently enjoyed reading "Loving What Is" where you confirm that your thoughts have a basis in reality (or change them if they don't).

On BSG, Baltar (one of the main characters, originally a brilliant scientist) becomes a religious leader of a small but growing cult. He preaches to them, "you are perfect just the way you are." Within a couple days of watching that, K sent me the following quote, "When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky" ~ Gautama Buddha. When coincidences like that happen, I pause.

I don't believe in perfection... at least not in living things. The concept doesn't fit. Perfect moments on the other hand....

I spent yesterday with my mother and sister.

We ate dim sum and then walked along Crissy Field where we saw a rainbow.

It rained intermittently. My sister reminded my mother of something she said on one of their vacations "If it gets any better than this, I'm not even interested." My mother noted that negative experiences stick with us so that we can protect ourselves from wild animals. We only remember positive experiences if they last for at least 20 seconds.


Which reminds me of methods for remembering people's names. I've heard that if you repeat the persons name three times after you've heard it (which presumably lasts at least 20 seconds), you're more likely to remember it.

At this point, I am tempted to break into song. You're lucky you're reading this and not in the room with me:

AC-CENT-TCHU-ATE THE POSITIVE (Mister In-Between)
(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
...

"My bicycle is my lover."

Bike racing does nothing for me. I'm happy for those people, because they're happy. But they can be a small obstruction in our global transformation to bringing the bicycle into the mainstream. You know, all that spandex.

This video about Jacquie Phelan paused those views. I mean, check out those pockadots, awesome tights, even the tea pot. And I liked it when she said that the bicycle is not just a personal transportation vehicle but also a personal transformation vehicle.

Social Media and Breaking Up

I'll blog on this later, but for now, the link:
In The Age of Social Media, Can You Escape Your Ex?

more thoughts on sleep

One of my friends posted this article on facebook which states that sleep is the next big issue in the fight for equal rights for women. But I'm inclined to agree with the commenters: where is the evidence that women are the ones who suffer from this affliction the most? True, they are usually the primary caretakers of children who often require their caretakers to lose sleep. But employers appear to expect both men and women equally to sleep less than they need.

Actually, maybe the problem isn't just employers. It's also the transportation system. I sleep best in the morning, and when under-rested, I'm out of luck if I miss that 8:19 train (which gets me to work before 10). Meanwhile, getting enough rest makes you healthier, live longer, smarter, more alert and have better judgment -- all things I know my employer would like for me to sustain. That said, I have no complaints about my employer for the record. They are incredibly accommodating of my needs. But that hasn't always been the case. So, I also feel the pain of most workers who don't have the same luck (or is it persistence?).

I've weeded out the more judgmental of my social circle. But many of these former friends, and my mother, judge me for my need for sleep. I feel sorry for them, but I also know, and have received the feedback from many others, that I get way more done than the average bear. It's not unlike issue-based politics, task-based work performance evaluation, and health-based evaluation of personal success. Break it down, and you'll find what the real issue is. My point is that we also have to fight society for our right to rest.

The Final Tomatoes of 2009

My tomato plants were still producing on xmas eve day. We'd never get enough sun for those babies to ripen. So, I moved my plot on to greens and beans. Shown here is the end of my tomato harvest of 2009.

Not sure what to do with green tomatoes, I let them rest in my kitchen. Some went bad (think tomatoes with guns, holding up a liquor store). But many others ended up in our family new year's eve dinner roasted veggies... and then new year's day baked eggs. They were supper yummy.